Jumper: What’s the Deal With Unbelievable Superpowers?

Posted: January 4, 2009 in Movie Reviews
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Recently, I did a post on the Hancock movie which I claimed was the most unimaginative Superhero movie ever – and it was. Well, this must be “guys with ridiculous superpowers just for the sake of making a movie” week at my house.

In this case, we are discussing “Jumper” in which “Anakin Skywalker” (I don’t care what his real name is) plays some guy who can teleport ANYWHERE in the world with absolutely no limitations whatsoever (unless he is “tased” – but we’ll get to that).

Now, why is he able to do this? No special reason – evidently, there is “something in his DNA” that allows him and a few select others to do so (in other words, it allows someone to churn out a movie with virtually no plot for the sake of making a profit).

Anyway,  you are introduced to his love interest (who he knows he is fated to be with, despite being 15 years old), his new-found powers, and the backstory about his parents literally within minutes of the opening scene.

And so the movie continues with “Anakin” globetrotting and playing around with his abilities.

At some point, we find out that he is being tracked by Samuel L. Jackson, touting his tired, played-out “badass” attitude. Evidently “Jumpers” (as they are called) have been around since the medieval times and “Paladins” (of the likes of Jackson) hunt them and kill them.

Why? Because “only God should be able to be in all places, at all times.” The Jumpers can usually just teleport away from any sticky situation, but Paladins are able to thwart their ability with machines that send electrical currents through the bodies of the Jumpers (so how they caught them back in the day is a mystery).

The action throughout the flick is mildly entertaining, but certainly nothing you can’t see elsewhere. There really is nothing else worth discussing.

See This Movie If: You have Netflix or some other service with unlimited rentals, you don’t have to pay for the movie, and you are willing to waste a few hours of your life that you will never get back for an unimaginative, slightly entertaining but mostly brainless “adventure.”

Do NOT See This Movie If: You prefer stories with a plot, proper character development, a love story that isn’t retarded and unfounded, a main character with superpowers that have a believable explanation, jokes that are funny… you get the idea.

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